The 1st of April - Pranks' Day!

Yeah, spring has come!
Time to make innocent and funny pranks and enjoy yourselves!
Though in Russia April, 1st is called as Laughter’s Day and it seems more appropriate ‘cause people has been always so tired of governmental gigs and “jokes” of corrupted authorities.
It’s just better to have fun at least a minute or two…
When this day happens to fall on weekend, there’s always a huge feast in Odessa – former “capital of humor” in the USSR .

So get yourself a dose of hilarious mood with these pics:

- Sorry,brother,hadn't enough dough for an axe!

( Prime Minister of Ukraine with her "patriotic" coiffure)

In the end there's some jokes,including one of the shortest:

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Woman:Hey,man,r u bored?

Man:Not thus much...

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Blonde visitin’ Doc:
- Doctor , why did you tell me to put my tongue out? I’m already sitting this way half an hour, and you don’t even look at it!
- When you’re silent, it’s more handy to read case history.

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The guy , returning home from supposedly fishing, runs into grocery and sees that there are only squids in the fish store. Firstly he’s flustered ,then appeals to saleswoman:
- U know, I’ve catched 2 dozens of them in our river!
Saleswoman: - Oh, u lucky, well done!
The guy thinks – if it passed for with her so it will get away all the more with my silly wife.- Pls sell me 3 kilo of squids.

* * * *
Rgds

Women's Day! Congratulations to all femmes!

Look,what a lovely Venus!Unearthly beauty!

No wonder men are mad of females...

Those girls who want to reach above standards - don't worry! Buy yourself this modern and useful illustrated book

"How to become a beauty"

Who are women?

You know there are so many definitions.And a lot of funny too...

For instance -

Women are like mushrooms:too often eatable by a first sight turn out to be a toadstool.

Or...

Women are like fishermen:first lure,then catch.

As a economist I like the next one more appropriate -

Women are like calculator:add problems,deduct time,multiply expenses and divide property.

I hope tonight all women end this holiday with a "peaceful easy feeling"!

Regards

Zebra

Ah,great! The first weekend of spring! Celebrate!

Russian tourists (obliko morale), being in Tadzhikistan, could've been gone to the one of a souvenir shop and see there a zebra doll, about like this one,

which was named in the price-list as - Donkey the Sailor!

By the way, Russians often prefer to consider their life like a zebra conception – as if it goes similar to an alternation of black ( troubles, miseries, depression) and white stripes ( luck,fortune,happiness).

They say: Life is like zebra – white stripe, black stripe, white stripe, black stripe, white, black, then – ASS!..
(If you ask some Russian “How r u doin?” and he answers “This is a full ass!” – it means the complete down state and many bad things at the moment)
For this case I can propose a short but good toast: “May the zebra of your life be an albino!”

By the way, you probably also know a funny joke about this animal, when a stallion pensively looks at the merrily galloping zebra on a green meadow and says to himself: ”Well, but you’ll have to take off pajamas!”

Now to the current issues.

Tomorrow there will be the Presidential Election in Russia. The choice is quite poor – Communist Zyuganov, Liberal Zhirinovskiy, Democrat Bogdanov ( Kremlin upstart and marionette ) and certainly Putin’s successor Medvedev(Medved – a Russian word for Bear). As a deputy Prime Minister Dmitriy Medvedev refused to take part in candidates’ TV debate alleging to his being awfully busy. So this is a pic on that:

Zyuganov(with bear-spear): Medvedev! Come out for the fair TV-debates!
Zhirinovskiy(with a rifle): Hid out! Unambiguously!
Medvedev himself is depicted as a dormant bear in his lair.

I am not fond of any politics so the next fun ad is more of my taste:


‘Politiical’ toilet paper: Feel a real pleasure!
(printed: Lukashenko - Bielorussian President,Putin,Berezovskiy)

Enjoy Friday!

- I love Monday!

- ? ? ?

- Only 3 days til Friday !!

Oh My My - Monday!

Monday...Morning shower - and straight to work!!

Better Kill Me!

Blow Your Whistle

Do u whistle sometimes? I mean, do u know it’s unlucky to whistle? Well, Russians say “ don’t you whistle – there’ll be no money!”
But everybody here knows of one and steadfast exception behind this omen – GAIshnik!
GAI serves as abbreviation of State Car Inspectorate, so GAIshnik in Russian means an officer of SCI or better to say – a patrolman. GAIshniks whistle so much! – but it brings them dough…
Any driver who’s been stopped for overspeeding or auto’s dirtiness or whatever reason has to ease his pocket to bribe a policeman and avoid troubles.
In souvenir shop you may buy this smarty porcelain money-box picturing a funny cop at work.

Remembered some story, I read it on the popular Russian site www.Anecdot.ru.
One guy and his wife decided to go shopping to Moscow. They lived in a small town in the suburbs. As this guy drived badly and uncertainly even in his own yard you must imagine how it was on the streets of megapolis. One moment he was noticed by a local Moscow patrolman who was very surprised by a slowly moving car - in comparison with other vehicles, swishing fast like lightning. Very soon gaishnik became anxious and nervously blew his whistle, stopping the car to aside. His first and angry words addressed to the driver were – And where are you slinking, dumbhead?
The story happened in 1999. Nowadays the traffic’s much denser in Moscow and you go at the average speed of 20 km an hour in rush time.
More than three million of registered cars for the post-Soviet city became a sheer headache for all people involved.

On the photo – a jam on the Garden Ring.

So in Moscow nowadays everybody slinks…

In conclusion an ironic judgement –
If there’s no money, a life flies by with whine…

Two beers or more?

The box of beer and dried fish! What else do you need to be indulged on a good Friday evening?