- I love Monday!
- ? ? ?
- Only 3 days til Friday !!
2.22.2008
2.18.2008
2.16.2008
Blow Your Whistle
Do u whistle sometimes? I mean, do u know it’s unlucky to whistle? Well, Russians say “ don’t you whistle – there’ll be no money!”
But everybody here knows of one and steadfast exception behind this omen – GAIshnik!
GAI serves as abbreviation of State Car Inspectorate, so GAIshnik in Russian means an officer of SCI or better to say – a patrolman. GAIshniks whistle so much! – but it brings them dough…
Any driver who’s been stopped for overspeeding or auto’s dirtiness or whatever reason has to ease his pocket to bribe a policeman and avoid troubles.
In souvenir shop you may buy this smarty porcelain money-box picturing a funny cop at work.
Remembered some story, I read it on the popular Russian site www.Anecdot.ru.
One guy and his wife decided to go shopping to Moscow. They lived in a small town in the suburbs. As this guy drived badly and uncertainly even in his own yard you must imagine how it was on the streets of megapolis. One moment he was noticed by a local Moscow patrolman who was very surprised by a slowly moving car - in comparison with other vehicles, swishing fast like lightning. Very soon gaishnik became anxious and nervously blew his whistle, stopping the car to aside. His first and angry words addressed to the driver were – And where are you slinking, dumbhead?
The story happened in 1999. Nowadays the traffic’s much denser in Moscow and you go at the average speed of 20 km an hour in rush time.
More than three million of registered cars for the post-Soviet city became a sheer headache for all people involved.
On the photo – a jam on the Garden Ring.
One guy and his wife decided to go shopping to Moscow. They lived in a small town in the suburbs. As this guy drived badly and uncertainly even in his own yard you must imagine how it was on the streets of megapolis. One moment he was noticed by a local Moscow patrolman who was very surprised by a slowly moving car - in comparison with other vehicles, swishing fast like lightning. Very soon gaishnik became anxious and nervously blew his whistle, stopping the car to aside. His first and angry words addressed to the driver were – And where are you slinking, dumbhead?
The story happened in 1999. Nowadays the traffic’s much denser in Moscow and you go at the average speed of 20 km an hour in rush time.
More than three million of registered cars for the post-Soviet city became a sheer headache for all people involved.
On the photo – a jam on the Garden Ring.
So in Moscow nowadays everybody slinks…
In conclusion an ironic judgement –
If there’s no money, a life flies by with whine…
In conclusion an ironic judgement –
If there’s no money, a life flies by with whine…
2.15.2008
Two beers or more?
The box of beer and dried fish! What else do you need to be indulged on a good Friday evening?2.11.2008
2.10.2008
To ride abroad – how it was in the Soviet Union
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Yeah, how it was – to make through the Iron Curtain and have a look at the life down there?
To smell another smoke, so to say…(remember poetic words – "…and smoke of Fatherland to us is mostly sweet and pleasant!"). What was another reason behind spending much of their labour wages and taking a trip? Practically none. The pocket currency permitted to buy in the State Bank was just enough for the Soviet tourist to purchase some cheap souvenirs. To meet and contact foreigners was prohibited, as well as leave the tourist group more than for 1-2 hours ( "free time"). The people were always afraid to get lost on the streets of an unfamiliar city and be late to hotel for a collective supper, 'cause it meant a serious hardship – looked like as they wanted to desert…
To raise funds for the trip was the easiest thing. The hardest was to be chosen from among many candidates. Only good guys and unconspicuous women – the Builders of Communism - were meant to go. Certainly it couldn't happen without some scheming, brawling and other nerve shaking deals. Sometimes protection and useful acquaintances helped dubious person to be included. Nonetheless the main idea was to avoid any slips – the Soviet country should be presented abroad by people with the highest ethicallevel!
One of the first necessary steps was to issue a testimonial or a reference about a candidate for the foreign trip. Usually it was a headache of candidate oneself. Then this doc was signed by his boss, then by CommParty or Komsomol local leaders, followed by numerous conversations and approvals by trade-union or party committees. But you'd better read about all this in the novel of Russian modern writer Yuri Polyakov called " Parisienne Love of Kostya Humankov".
To smell another smoke, so to say…(remember poetic words – "…and smoke of Fatherland to us is mostly sweet and pleasant!"). What was another reason behind spending much of their labour wages and taking a trip? Practically none. The pocket currency permitted to buy in the State Bank was just enough for the Soviet tourist to purchase some cheap souvenirs. To meet and contact foreigners was prohibited, as well as leave the tourist group more than for 1-2 hours ( "free time"). The people were always afraid to get lost on the streets of an unfamiliar city and be late to hotel for a collective supper, 'cause it meant a serious hardship – looked like as they wanted to desert…
To raise funds for the trip was the easiest thing. The hardest was to be chosen from among many candidates. Only good guys and unconspicuous women – the Builders of Communism - were meant to go. Certainly it couldn't happen without some scheming, brawling and other nerve shaking deals. Sometimes protection and useful acquaintances helped dubious person to be included. Nonetheless the main idea was to avoid any slips – the Soviet country should be presented abroad by people with the highest ethicallevel!
One of the first necessary steps was to issue a testimonial or a reference about a candidate for the foreign trip. Usually it was a headache of candidate oneself. Then this doc was signed by his boss, then by CommParty or Komsomol local leaders, followed by numerous conversations and approvals by trade-union or party committees. But you'd better read about all this in the novel of Russian modern writer Yuri Polyakov called " Parisienne Love of Kostya Humankov".
So this is a cut from Top Ten Soviet comedy "The Diamond Arm" – an episode, where a main character, innocent Soviet tourist, Semyon Semyonych is nearly grabbed by Turkish harlot while sightseeing ancient Stambul. His younger friend Gesha, though knowing just several foreign words, rescues him.
There goes a dialogue:
G.( pulling SemSem out of the door) : You what? Are u nuts?
SemSem: She's calling me , maybe something's happened!
Harlot: Bla-bla-bla,Ai-lu-lu!
G.: Ai-lu-lu later on! No, nicht, net – by no means!
SemSem: But why? Maybe she needs something!
G. What does she need I'll tell you afterwards! Lady, signora, frau, miss! Unfortunately, it will come to nothing! RUSSO TURISTO – OBLIKO MORALE! Ferstein? That's all! Hurry up…
The phrase RUSSO TURISTO =OBLIKO MORALE means Russian tourists – Moral (or Ethical) Cast of Mind!
It became so a popular expression for the Soviet people. Even now it's still used as you can see on the photo above!
2.09.2008
Fav Jokes
Our life is full of surprises. More often, unpleasant ones. But sometimes unexpected events give us the feeling of the vivid life charged with dramatic or humorous incidents.
I love jokes reflecting this side of life, jokes, ending with some unexpected twists for a listener. Just similar to these ones:
Somewhere high in the mountains of Georgia(*) a boy asks his grandfather:
- Granddaddy, how old r u?
- One hundred fifty eight.
- Wow! And you still keep on drinking and smoking?!
- Sure! Otherwise I might never kick off.
(*) - former Soviet republic,situated in Caucasus and famous with its highland long-livers
Stewardess in the aircraft:
- Well, that's all, quiet please…Cool down, cool down, nothing to worry about, it was just an air pocket. What's up? What happened to ya? Relax…give up your armchair, that's OK! Breathe freely…And what about you? Shitted all around? Well, it happens…but now this is all over and done. Yeah, everything is just OK! Well, everybody's cool ? Good boys! Now I must go to check the passengers!
I love jokes reflecting this side of life, jokes, ending with some unexpected twists for a listener. Just similar to these ones:
Somewhere high in the mountains of Georgia(*) a boy asks his grandfather:
- Granddaddy, how old r u?
- One hundred fifty eight.
- Wow! And you still keep on drinking and smoking?!
- Sure! Otherwise I might never kick off.
(*) - former Soviet republic,situated in Caucasus and famous with its highland long-livers
Stewardess in the aircraft:
- Well, that's all, quiet please…Cool down, cool down, nothing to worry about, it was just an air pocket. What's up? What happened to ya? Relax…give up your armchair, that's OK! Breathe freely…And what about you? Shitted all around? Well, it happens…but now this is all over and done. Yeah, everything is just OK! Well, everybody's cool ? Good boys! Now I must go to check the passengers!
2.08.2008
2.03.2008
Pissheads,go away!
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Pics of Life...Uninvented,real life.The cuts and features of our day-to-day common existence,which speak more of people and their habits than any professional writer can imagine.
This is one,from Russian little town.
It's not a secret that some Russians are alcohol addicts.Poverty,unhappiness,unlucky marriage,unemployment,boredom - all these miseries can push men into embrace of the Green Snake ( in USSR there was a famous logo of Ministry of Health: a green snake twining some kind of a vessel - symbolising taking of medical poison.But as this vessel was depicted very much like wine-glass,people became to treat it as some kind of joke!).Late at night it's quite hard to buy Voddy.But local boozers usually know well where it can be obtained from provident and enterprising persons.Probably too often directions to some unknown Ira are being confused by thirsty for liquor,knocking the wrong window.That's why the notice on it says:"Dipsos!Yours Ira is down there!
2.02.2008
Keep on postin'
Overread first post.One blunt mistake: not meeker,but more softly.
Everytime I wonder why English language has so many words to indicate the term which in other language is marked by only one word linked with context.E.g.,in English mild is used when talking of drinks or the climate,soft marks sound,meek concerns a human nature,fresh indicates bread's quality,etc.U see,I am not so lazy today to browse dictionary!Why so many - it's hard to remember 'em all!While in Russian we speak only one word - "myagkiy" - about all above mentioned: myagkiy bread,myagkiy cognac,myagkyi September,etc.
Well,enough for verbal exercises!
I' d better try to post some pics later.The texts alone look tedious...
Everytime I wonder why English language has so many words to indicate the term which in other language is marked by only one word linked with context.E.g.,in English mild is used when talking of drinks or the climate,soft marks sound,meek concerns a human nature,fresh indicates bread's quality,etc.U see,I am not so lazy today to browse dictionary!Why so many - it's hard to remember 'em all!While in Russian we speak only one word - "myagkiy" - about all above mentioned: myagkiy bread,myagkiy cognac,myagkyi September,etc.
Well,enough for verbal exercises!
I' d better try to post some pics later.The texts alone look tedious...
2.01.2008
Well...What to begin with?The first record must underline your intention to create something using this new experience,but now - on Friday's evening and after this fussy working week - there are no thoughts at all.In Russian Friday is pronouncing as "piatnitza".Well,u know, what Friday's evening is usually meant for:some boozing,entertaining and makin' fun might as well be acceptable for everyone.The Russians are not an exception,and to drink vodka or anything of equal strength( including antifreeze - yeah,it occurs!) can be named by Russian slang verb "tiapnut".The last t should be pronounced meeker to emphasize infinitive ( what to do? - to drink! - tiapnutj!) and accent goes on the first syllable.So very often we choose to call Friday not a "piatnitza",but "tiapnitza"!
Also I'd like to make a statement:I'm not an expert in English.So sometimes I'm doing such a dumb mistakes - shame on me,bad boy with high education!Nevertheless I'll be trying to write so that anybody might get a sense of any text of mine.
The only thing I can probably guarantee is that in every note will be something funny.Really,I like good humor.I mean kean or shrewd humor,lacking dirty jokes,sex content,filthy words ,etc. - what we call "humor below the waist" and silly stupid fun depicting blondes,lawyers,etc. or black and funeral humor.That's not my piece of cake!Unfortunately nowadays it's harder to find brilliant humorous gems in the ocean of lewdness and citch.
Someone said great:"The humor is a ring-buoy of our Life".
Let me end on this optimistic note for today.
Bis Gleich
Also I'd like to make a statement:I'm not an expert in English.So sometimes I'm doing such a dumb mistakes - shame on me,bad boy with high education!Nevertheless I'll be trying to write so that anybody might get a sense of any text of mine.
The only thing I can probably guarantee is that in every note will be something funny.Really,I like good humor.I mean kean or shrewd humor,lacking dirty jokes,sex content,filthy words ,etc. - what we call "humor below the waist" and silly stupid fun depicting blondes,lawyers,etc. or black and funeral humor.That's not my piece of cake!Unfortunately nowadays it's harder to find brilliant humorous gems in the ocean of lewdness and citch.
Someone said great:"The humor is a ring-buoy of our Life".
Let me end on this optimistic note for today.
Bis Gleich
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