Lemme sleep,bitches!
2.11.2008
2.10.2008
To ride abroad – how it was in the Soviet Union
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Yeah, how it was – to make through the Iron Curtain and have a look at the life down there?
To smell another smoke, so to say…(remember poetic words – "…and smoke of Fatherland to us is mostly sweet and pleasant!"). What was another reason behind spending much of their labour wages and taking a trip? Practically none. The pocket currency permitted to buy in the State Bank was just enough for the Soviet tourist to purchase some cheap souvenirs. To meet and contact foreigners was prohibited, as well as leave the tourist group more than for 1-2 hours ( "free time"). The people were always afraid to get lost on the streets of an unfamiliar city and be late to hotel for a collective supper, 'cause it meant a serious hardship – looked like as they wanted to desert…
To raise funds for the trip was the easiest thing. The hardest was to be chosen from among many candidates. Only good guys and unconspicuous women – the Builders of Communism - were meant to go. Certainly it couldn't happen without some scheming, brawling and other nerve shaking deals. Sometimes protection and useful acquaintances helped dubious person to be included. Nonetheless the main idea was to avoid any slips – the Soviet country should be presented abroad by people with the highest ethicallevel!
One of the first necessary steps was to issue a testimonial or a reference about a candidate for the foreign trip. Usually it was a headache of candidate oneself. Then this doc was signed by his boss, then by CommParty or Komsomol local leaders, followed by numerous conversations and approvals by trade-union or party committees. But you'd better read about all this in the novel of Russian modern writer Yuri Polyakov called " Parisienne Love of Kostya Humankov".
To smell another smoke, so to say…(remember poetic words – "…and smoke of Fatherland to us is mostly sweet and pleasant!"). What was another reason behind spending much of their labour wages and taking a trip? Practically none. The pocket currency permitted to buy in the State Bank was just enough for the Soviet tourist to purchase some cheap souvenirs. To meet and contact foreigners was prohibited, as well as leave the tourist group more than for 1-2 hours ( "free time"). The people were always afraid to get lost on the streets of an unfamiliar city and be late to hotel for a collective supper, 'cause it meant a serious hardship – looked like as they wanted to desert…
To raise funds for the trip was the easiest thing. The hardest was to be chosen from among many candidates. Only good guys and unconspicuous women – the Builders of Communism - were meant to go. Certainly it couldn't happen without some scheming, brawling and other nerve shaking deals. Sometimes protection and useful acquaintances helped dubious person to be included. Nonetheless the main idea was to avoid any slips – the Soviet country should be presented abroad by people with the highest ethicallevel!
One of the first necessary steps was to issue a testimonial or a reference about a candidate for the foreign trip. Usually it was a headache of candidate oneself. Then this doc was signed by his boss, then by CommParty or Komsomol local leaders, followed by numerous conversations and approvals by trade-union or party committees. But you'd better read about all this in the novel of Russian modern writer Yuri Polyakov called " Parisienne Love of Kostya Humankov".
So this is a cut from Top Ten Soviet comedy "The Diamond Arm" – an episode, where a main character, innocent Soviet tourist, Semyon Semyonych is nearly grabbed by Turkish harlot while sightseeing ancient Stambul. His younger friend Gesha, though knowing just several foreign words, rescues him.
There goes a dialogue:
G.( pulling SemSem out of the door) : You what? Are u nuts?
SemSem: She's calling me , maybe something's happened!
Harlot: Bla-bla-bla,Ai-lu-lu!
G.: Ai-lu-lu later on! No, nicht, net – by no means!
SemSem: But why? Maybe she needs something!
G. What does she need I'll tell you afterwards! Lady, signora, frau, miss! Unfortunately, it will come to nothing! RUSSO TURISTO – OBLIKO MORALE! Ferstein? That's all! Hurry up…
The phrase RUSSO TURISTO =OBLIKO MORALE means Russian tourists – Moral (or Ethical) Cast of Mind!
It became so a popular expression for the Soviet people. Even now it's still used as you can see on the photo above!
2.09.2008
Fav Jokes
Our life is full of surprises. More often, unpleasant ones. But sometimes unexpected events give us the feeling of the vivid life charged with dramatic or humorous incidents.
I love jokes reflecting this side of life, jokes, ending with some unexpected twists for a listener. Just similar to these ones:
Somewhere high in the mountains of Georgia(*) a boy asks his grandfather:
- Granddaddy, how old r u?
- One hundred fifty eight.
- Wow! And you still keep on drinking and smoking?!
- Sure! Otherwise I might never kick off.
(*) - former Soviet republic,situated in Caucasus and famous with its highland long-livers
Stewardess in the aircraft:
- Well, that's all, quiet please…Cool down, cool down, nothing to worry about, it was just an air pocket. What's up? What happened to ya? Relax…give up your armchair, that's OK! Breathe freely…And what about you? Shitted all around? Well, it happens…but now this is all over and done. Yeah, everything is just OK! Well, everybody's cool ? Good boys! Now I must go to check the passengers!
I love jokes reflecting this side of life, jokes, ending with some unexpected twists for a listener. Just similar to these ones:
Somewhere high in the mountains of Georgia(*) a boy asks his grandfather:
- Granddaddy, how old r u?
- One hundred fifty eight.
- Wow! And you still keep on drinking and smoking?!
- Sure! Otherwise I might never kick off.
(*) - former Soviet republic,situated in Caucasus and famous with its highland long-livers
Stewardess in the aircraft:
- Well, that's all, quiet please…Cool down, cool down, nothing to worry about, it was just an air pocket. What's up? What happened to ya? Relax…give up your armchair, that's OK! Breathe freely…And what about you? Shitted all around? Well, it happens…but now this is all over and done. Yeah, everything is just OK! Well, everybody's cool ? Good boys! Now I must go to check the passengers!
2.08.2008
2.03.2008
Pissheads,go away!
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Pics of Life...Uninvented,real life.The cuts and features of our day-to-day common existence,which speak more of people and their habits than any professional writer can imagine.
This is one,from Russian little town.
It's not a secret that some Russians are alcohol addicts.Poverty,unhappiness,unlucky marriage,unemployment,boredom - all these miseries can push men into embrace of the Green Snake ( in USSR there was a famous logo of Ministry of Health: a green snake twining some kind of a vessel - symbolising taking of medical poison.But as this vessel was depicted very much like wine-glass,people became to treat it as some kind of joke!).Late at night it's quite hard to buy Voddy.But local boozers usually know well where it can be obtained from provident and enterprising persons.Probably too often directions to some unknown Ira are being confused by thirsty for liquor,knocking the wrong window.That's why the notice on it says:"Dipsos!Yours Ira is down there!
2.02.2008
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